Prompt's TechBlog

This morning I got sent a really naff joke from a friend who still seems to be excited by the whole idea of sending around tired old email attachments. Unsurprisingly I'd seen this particular joke many times before, and for the sake of illustrating my point, here's the original version:

One day, in the pub, Barry said to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"You don't have to spend time waiting in the surgery," Mike replied. "There's a diagnostic computer at the local chemist. Just give it a urine sample and the computer tells you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs two pounds".

So Barry deposited a urine sample in a small jar and took it to the chemist. He inserted two pounds, and the computer lit up and asked for a urine sample. He poured the sample into the slot and waited. The computer ejected a printout:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thinking how amazing this new technology was, Barry began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. He went back to the Chemist, inserted two pounds, poured in his concoction, and waited for the results. The computer printed the following:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into a drugs clinic.

Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They're not yours. Get a lawyer.

If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

I told you it wasn't very funny. However, the point here is that the version my soon to be ostracised friend sent to me this morning featured a notable difference: In the new version, Mike advises his friend to try the new diagnostic machine at his local Tesco, because it only costs a few pounds and he'll get Club Card points, the word 'Tesco' is repeated throughout the story, and the printout at the end of the joke finishes with "Thank you for shopping at Tesco". To top it off, the subject of the circulated email is "Tesco Joke" despite the name of the store being largely irrelevant to the joke.

I really hope this isn't the future of viral marketing, cheesy old jokes repackaged, branded and spread around the web purely for the purpose of increasing brand recognition. If you're going to clutter up people's in-boxes with marketing collateral, please, at least go to the trouble of coming up with something new and interesting.